Gitama sharing about WildTantra dimension…
At the beginning of March 2012, Gitama spoke about the Tantra of the Kaula of the Heart of All during three introduction evenings in the Netherlands. At these events she welcomed over one hundred participants with a taste of the precious nectar called Tantra… Below you will find a rendition of the beautiful flowers she offered her audience. We’ve set up this text in such a way that you can either read it in one go or go through topic by topic. For you to choose your flow and taste the sweetness…
Let yourself be touched… Enjoy…
“In Tantra there are no tantricas.
In Tantra you have to drop the whole idea of being a tantrica. Even this, you have to drop it.
As long as you can come up saying I am a tantrica, there is still something in the way between you and existence.
It has to be dropped! Be nobody!
And in that nobodyness maybe we can be everything…”
For a long time, I have not been doing evening events. I was a bit reluctant for many years. What to say about Tantra? It is not really something to speak about. It is something to experience. In the tradition of Tantra, there are no words. If I look at the Tantric Masters close to us, such as Leela, she uses a minimum of words. If I go back far in the past, there were really no words, only energy transmission. Nowadays, we have lost this contact. After many years, I realize that we have a mind that also needs to understand before moving into experience. I have been looking into this and felt ok to try again. Let’s try to share with words, not too much from the mind , but from another place. Let’s try to transfer to you something with words which does not belong to words. That´s my challenge.
Woman and Man energy
Woman and man energy flow is such an issue because we have lost contact. We don’t even know anymore what it is to be a man, what it is to be a woman. We are all mixed up. We don’t even know how to relate woman to woman or man to man, so what to say about women and men? It is a bit of a mess! In Tantra there is a beautiful way to look at man and woman relations. In the Tantra from the lineage I come from, man and woman hardly exist. It is only the female, the Goddess taking different forms. She takes the form of a man, the form of a woman. Different bodily forms, but the essence is the Goddess. The Goddess flowing in different forms. For our mind it is a bit delicate to figure this out because we want to cling to our identity: I am a man, I am a woman! We have ideas, pictures about it and we want to cling to it. These pictures are only clashing with each other. They do not meet. With the understanding of the Goddess force flowing in different forms, different bodies, there is no longer a separation, no more division between man and woman. You know the man, the woman in front of you carries the same energy, the same light. How we usually move is from the picture of male energy in the male body and female energy in the female body, and these are different in our conception. In the way I transfer Tantra, I try to skip this concept as much as possible even though we need it a little bit at the beginning. But by and by we can drop it, so that when you are with a man, a woman you can look through the form and see the Goddess.
The Mother Goddess
What is this Goddess about? There is a form of creation where we all come from. In different religious we have given many names to it: God, Allah… whatever. In Tantra, we speak about the Goddess, the Mother, the Mother Goddess. We use these words because their meaning is easy to relate to. If I say Mother, you know to what to relate with. If I say Existence, Space, it is so vast that it becomes difficult to relate . Tantra has created a link to this vastness of creation: the Mother Goddess. She is the force of creation playing in different forms such as you or me. To come to this, you have to realize you are not especially unique. You have to let go of this idea of Me, of I am Me! Of I am not like you! Of I have my borders! These need to collapse if we like to get in contact with the Mother Goddess. For our type of mind, in our society where we build up personality, ego, power games, it is difficult to shift into the Mother Goddess. The first step into Tantra is to ask yourself: Am I ready to surrender my personality, my identity to the Mother Goddess? Because only then it is possible to go into a deep meeting with a man, with a woman. Without dropping the personality, it is going to stand in between. The dynamic man and woman is the Goddess playing with the Goddess, light playing with light. Looking from this angle of light playing with light in different forms, you bring a different dynamic to the meeting.
Expansion into the Light
Light is always looking for light. It is a process of expansion. When light inside me expands to you, it will catch the light in you. One flame catches another flame and like this we create a big fire. If you would all be ready to let go of what we think we are, we would feel the fire burning inside of us. And in relaxing deeper, this fire could catch the fire burning in the neighbors next to you. Fire attracts fire. We could have such a big fire burning here! Right now it is not like this. Everyone is protecting his/her little inner flame. It is fine, but it is nice you feel and see what is happening. That we all want to sit on our little cushion keeping ourselves locked up in our personality. I know it is difficult to just relax and feel and melt. It is difficult to realize there is no danger in melting. We are in constant fear. The fear of loosing ourselves. The fear of losing what we think we are! If we would just trust a little bit more we would find ourselves in many bodies. We would find ourselves everywhere. We don’t have a specific place. We are so narrow because of the identification with this body, with this form, while the Goddess is moving all around. Our energy, the Goddess force, is not fixed in this body. She is playing, dancing everywhere. If we breathe, relax, she starts moving everywhere and creates a meeting that goes far beyond this little Me we think we are.
Transparency in Space
My Tantric Master once spoke to me about something that touched me very much. She said: “There is a huge space. We can’t define it. Just lie down at night outside and look at the starry sky. It is so huge. This space is also moving inside of you. It wants to play, otherwise it gets bored up there. It wants to play.” I felt this to be so beautiful. It made me cry. But then came a question: How can this big space play in this small body of mine? She said: “You narrow it just by looking at the image of it. Close your eyes, and you don’t know anymore if it is big or small.” Her message was to become more transparent. This form is transparent to space. The space is moving in, the space is moving out, it is like breathing in and breathing out. It is a bit weird in the beginning! The whole universe is moving inside of us and at the same time it is moving outside of us. The mind doesn’t like this kind of perception. It actually makes the mind go a bit crazy! When you relax in the transparency, feeling that the body too is becoming transparent, you feel everything moving inside of you. Then the inside and the outside disappear. This is also an important play in the dynamic between man and woman. Inside and the outside – at some point we don’t speak about these anymore. The man and the woman become transparent to each other. Even their bodies! Sometimes (looking at her partner Sahido), when we are making or even without making love, when we are close together in transparency, I feel I am a man. I simply know what it is like to have the body of a man, the sex of a man . And going deeper, I don’t even know anymore. And it is in this not knowing that we drop together. We drop to where the meeting can really happen, where the Goddess is playing.
The Sacred and Secret Path
There are no secrets in Tantra and yet, paradoxally, Tantra is full of them! The reason for this is very simple: It’s because we are so fucked up that we misuse everything! Look at how men and women misuse love. Look at what is happening in this world in the name of love! The Tantric Masters know how we are and seeing that what they transmit will get misused, they made their teachings secret. Tantra is a big secret book! And yet in some way, it is not. You can dive into the book very easily if you are open. In order for us not to misuse Tantra, the Tantric Masters play a lot of games! The Masters have devices, such as the chakra map. But there is much more such as symbols, sounds. These are all kinds of secret codes. I am personally very in love with it. I found it so beautiful that the Masters have created these in such loving way for us to fall into transparency, into presence, for us to have a sense of sacredness. Tantra doesn’t need symbols or rituals, or statues, but for us to go into depth, the Tantric Masters have used what they found in different religions. It is very beautiful. In Tantra you can find symbols coming from many different religions: Sufism, Hinduism… It was a way for the Masters to reach to everyone, to speak to everyone and to welcome everyone. Whether you are Hindu, Muslim, Catholic, in Tantra you are welcome. The way you relate to your religion, the symbol you use there to reach to the divine can be used in Tantra. It is amazing to see that you can speak about Tantra in many countries with different religious background and still everybody understands. Tantra is vast because it incorporates everything. Everything is welcome in it. And still everything is secret! This is a mind-blowing story. It might look like everything is open, which can be very attractive. But the moment you will surrender to the Master you are going to realize that everything is secret and you will have to figure it out all by yourself. It is delicate to speak about secrets in Tantra, because I cannot reveal them! This is also the play in transmitting Tantra that I find so beautiful. I am moving like this with my Master for many years. She just puts me in a meditation without telling me the secret behind it. She gives a picture, a guidance to seduce us into moving deeper. Then you find out what the secret is. Stepping onto the path of Tantra you constantly discover one secret after another.
Moving with a Master while receiving the meditation from him/her, you start looking for the secret behind it out of your devotion for the Master. You start looking at the transmission that lies behind the meditation methods. The Master is going to catch you through the methods. This is his work… It is so touching how the Masters work! How they transfer the real key to us… When you receive the meditation while you are devoted to the Master, it works. I see many people practicing Tantric meditations without the link to the Master. I don’t say it doesn’t work, but it makes it much more difficult. From my experience it is devotion to the Master that makes the meditation function. It gives it depth. While being in the meditation, let the Master work. Who you are to do something? You can only set up yourself in such a way that the Master can work through you. Then follows the transmission. Then the secret behind the method, ritual or symbol is revealed.
Kaula of the Heart of All
For a long time, I kept the relation to the Masters secret, because I found it so intimate that it was difficult to expose it. I am now moving with a Tantric Master for 14 years and only since last year I dare to put this out and give the link to others. I have brought it into the world under the names WildTantra and Kaula of the Heart of All, which is the name my Master has chosen for her “work”. Kaula is a very old system in which Masters and disciples come together. It is a family. A big family, not in the biological sense of the word, but by playing with the same roles such as mother, father, daughters, sons… The Master is the father or the mother. The disciples are the children, sons and daughters of the Master. In the Kaula the Master adopts you. It is no longer a Master-disciple relation. It goes back to family relations. It makes it easier to relate. Mother and daughter have an inborn quality of love in relating with each other. It is very natural, so it is used in the Master-disciple relation within the Kaula system. The access to the Master becomes so simple. Imagine if your Master is your mother, it becomes so easy. Do you see the simplicity of it? You can reach her directly. She is not too far. And in that there isn’t this play of I am enlightened and you are not. In Tantra we don’t speak about that rubbish. There is enlightenment, but we don’t speak about it. We speak about expansion of the heart between the mother and the daughters or sons. We don’t say the mother is enlightened and the children are just stupid trying to work hard to become like mama (laughing). We don’t function this way. In the Kaula, we have a family moving together on a daily base, eating together, sleeping together, working together – a normal life. In this normal life there is a little plus: Awareness of love. This is constant. This is the inner discipline of the Kaula members. In the play of the family, the Master-Mother is shining the light of love onto the children so that they can be touched, be nourished and share it between each other. This is their practice within the Kaula: Practicing love, if I may call it this way. Another aspect of the Master-Mother is that she transmits wisdom, a wisdom that she has received from her Master whom received it from his Master… The Kaula is a lineage of many Masters. Every Kaula has its own lineage of Masters – all with different flavors, but basically all sharing the same flame. In our Kaula, the most recent Master is called Leela. I have the duty to let her pass through me. I am not a Master, far from it. The Team can tell you. I still do many stupid things (laughing). But what to do in spite of my stupid things? I have a heart which remembers the Masters and can let them through. It is my offer in this life to let the Masters share their wisdom through me.
The WildTantra Team is composed of members from the Kaula only. Within the workshops they share the love dimension of the Kaula. It helps everyone to fall in the dimension of the family where you can relax and feel at home. Then you are not specifically there to learn something, like in most workshops. We try not to have this set up of teacher and student. During the workshop we like to welcome people in the family, not in a classroom! WildTantra is welcoming beings around the fire of Masters. That is the simplest definition of WildTantra. It is a nice one! My role in that is a strange one. I am not a teacher, I am not a Master. I don’t want to have this label. Most of the members of the family call me mama. I try as much as possible to be in this state. The state of the mama is to have the openness to welcome everyone. I welcome you for example, but also some invisible people who are the Masters belonging to the lineage of the Kaula of the Heart of All. It puts me in the position of a vehicle through which I can transmit their wisdom. Through the mother we can easily move into the space called the Mother Womb by our Tantric Master. I like to be in the position where I am transparent enough so that everyone can fall into that womb. This is the role of the Mother in the Tantric sense. She cares that the children fall in the womb where they can receive the transmission of the Masters. There starts the transmission. I call our Tantra the Wild Tantra. Wildness is a misused word that we associate with crazy, unconscious and animalistic behaviors. In my perception we are wild the moment we are out of the structures of the mind. In the mind we try to keep ourselves civilized under codes of behaviors, language, and all kind of rules that make us very tense and divided. From this state we don’t have access anymore to qualities that bring us into unity, such as love for example. From my point of view wildness is dropping out of the mind and getting in touch with our qualities that unify. Wildness is a state of no-mind, of non-duality. It is the true civilized state we fall in! Not civilized from the mind which is fake, but from the heart. Wildness is a totally conscious state. Consciousness is the wildest dimension I know. You can’t tame it. Everything inside of you that you cannot tame is wild. Love, bliss – you cannot tame them. They are wild animals! You can’t catch them and manipulate them. That is impossible. Tantra is wild, because it brings us constantly in touch with qualities that make us fall into oneness.
The Spiritual Child
The Spiritual Child is one of the most esoteric sides of Tantra. If you don’t understand what I will share about now, please don’t worry. Just imbibe its energy and it will take place in you. How do the Tantric Masters of the Lineage I come from move on? They are not going to get back in a physical body. They have done the whole game already. They have to find another way to let their wisdom pass on. This is where the mysterious dimension of the Spiritual Child comes in. Women have a womb in the belly where they can create beautiful children. But then there is another womb, a hidden one above our head. Leela, our tantric Master, often says: “You have the sex center to make love and conceive a child. Do not forget you have a sex center above your head too from where creation is also possible!” But from there, creation is not going to be material. In the womb above the head, a soul can come but it will not transform into bodily matter. It will simply get a space where it can stay, a womb. Then from there it can use this body (points to her body). The body is going to be his/her vehicle. In usual conception, you create a body for a soul to move on. Now in the case of the Spiritual Child, you offer your body for a soul to move on. This is how the Tantric Masters from our Kaula are moving on…
By practicing the meditations we offer, you will by and by feel a connection to something bigger. You will feel the link to the Masters’ dimension. All the meditations we offer in the workshops belong to different Masters. They have a link to their wisdom. It is a double play somehow! You have to practice the meditation. It is you creating the opening. Nobody is going to come to you and open you up! Yet the more you open yourself through the meditations, the more the Masters´ wisdom drops inside of you. It is such a mysterious way to grow, to move… The more we move this way, the more we are able to create the womb for the Spiritual Child. One day, there is such trust, such devotion that the Masters can incarnate again in your field of energy. We live in a time where this is more than needed. We need to rise up the level of consciousness we are in. Alone we will not manage. We need to open up and offer ourselves to the Masters´ consciousness.
When you get back in touch with the senses by opening them through meditation, you might realize that your perception goes beyond what you normally perceive through your senses. For example while smelling a flower, you will smell something more than its fragrance, something of the invisible. We don’t have so much trust in this anymore. Maybe when you are a child, it is still present. And as long as you don’t say to an adult that you smell something more than the flower, that you also see something at the same time, than everything is all right! But after this we get an education so square that we lose our innocent and natural perception. You are finished. You lose the ability of the heart to connect from the senses to your environment. Tantra is restoring the senses back into the heart. Mainstream education shifts the senses into the head. From the head you can see a beautiful woman and you will only see the outer side. From the heart, you see the outer and the inner side of the woman too. If we get your senses restored in the heart and you move out in the street, you will relate with people, with objects in a totally different way. The first thing you are going to realize is that you are not separated from what you sense. Strangers moving close by to you suddenly move in you. The wall that usually creates distance between you and them is not there anymore. It is very shaky to move this way on the street. You feel very naked! And you feel much more. You feel the sickness, sadness, and depression of others, which make you want to close again. Tantra helps you also in the moment you feel the negativity of others. This is a second step in restoring the senses in the heart, a bigger step, the step of absorbing and transforming. We have the ability to take everything into our heart and let the heart do its work, you don’t have to do it! The heart does it by itself, it transforms. It takes in and gives back. Everything going through the heart is filtrated; it is like a water purification station! The polluted water goes through the filter and comes out pure. The heart works in the same way! The heart doesn’t carry judgment, condemnation. It takes everything in and purifies. It goes on and on purifying. In Tantra you start with yourself by transforming what you have inside and then you let your heart expand so that you become a transformation house and then you can do much in the world. First it starts with you. You will feel happier, because you are no longer loaded by your own negativity. And secondly, you will start making others happy too by transforming their energies. It is very precious gift!
Tantra only works with commitment. You can’t move differently. This commitment works with devotion. It works with the heart. For example: if a Master gives you a meditation to practice for a certain time, let’s say one month, you commit to it. It gives you a center to fall in when your mind is going to interfere. Because the mind is tricky, it is going to mess it up. You do your meditation one, two, three times and the fourth time the mind is telling you: What are you doing? But your commitment will keep you present. In spite of everything telling you to drop the meditation, you are going to keep moving. The commitment is giving you the strength to move on. Sometimes the commitment comes from you. You yourself commit to a meditation for one week. And sometimes it is the Master imposing a commitment on you and then you need devotion, because mostly you are not going to like it! It might even be a meditation you will not like at first hand. It is going to be a meditation which is going to push your buttons. This kind of commitment can only be taken out of the devotion for the Master. Then there is another type of commitment which exists between a man and a woman. This is a bit of a delicate subject. In the tantric tradition I come from we have marriage. It can be marriage for one hour, one week, one month, one year, one life… or more… When you decide to enter into this marriage for whatever length of time it is, you can’t move out of it. There is no divorce possible! Within this marriage there will be different meditations and rituals to practice. Your commitment keeps you anchored to it. In spite of everything happening within the relation, you keep committed to the meditations and rituals that make your marriage grow. It is very powerful. I work a lot with commitment. Since I am doing Tantra, I have been with different partners and always with commitments – sometimes with really strong ones. Many times, I felt like dropping it, but it has never been possible because the commitment makes me go to the bottom of what I have to see. The commitment is what you always come back to. It maintains the whole relation. In tantra, the commitment makes you grow, makes you flower. That´s why we have to trust to keep it.
This is a very beautiful subject, but difficult to speak about because we have many ideas about it. In short definition: It is a state of unity in which different polarities come together. A big example: Darkness and light coming together. To come to something more easy to relate with: Within our body we have different polarities playing. When they trigger each other there are explosions and implosions, just different types of orgasm. The basic understanding is falling into the state of unity. We can reach it through many different doors. The one best know is sex. It is actually very narrow to put it down to sex only. We have many senses which are all doors to the state of unity. If you were to have been listening carefully when we were playing music before, you´d also come to orgasm. Two things came together: The music and you. These two vibrations of energy tuning to each other could come into orgasm, into unity. These orgasms open you to different state of consciousness. In Tantra, we work a lot on the dimension of orgasm, because of its quality of unity. I try not to narrow it to the sex center. The whole body can open all its doors to orgasm. Everything that reaches your body can give you an orgasm, even the noise on the street. If you relax, you get into the vibration and here it is. Unity is here. Orgasm is here. It is beautiful to play with this. It also takes away the idea that orgasm only belongs to sex, to lovemaking and that’s it. This is a beautiful way to explore it. Why not orgasm everywhere? Why not when you are sitting in the bus going to your office? Why not letting it happen there too?
What’s in a name?
One of the participants noticed that the members of the Kaula have adopted different names and asked what this is about…
It’s because we are a sect (big laugh)! I can explain this to you. For example my name has nothing to do with the Kaula. I got it from Osho when I became his disciple some 20 years ago. For many in the Kaula is the case. I don’t even remember whom… Let’s see… Anand over here, Bhakti, Sahido, Safi too! As for the other ones while moving in Tantra they felt the need to have something that reminds them of their inner change. The new name is meant for that. Each time you are called by it, it reminds you of the step you have taken, the inner dimension of transformation you are in. We tend to forget this in the beginning! It is not a name that needs to be used in public. You can also carry it inside of you only. It is a beautiful play which has a deep impact inside. For me, when someone calls me Gitama it brings me back into place. If I am mind-fucking, it wakes me up. I have to incarnate the meaning of the name. Every name has a meaning that brings you back to an inner quality. Prem Gitama means the song of love. If you catch me grumpy and you call me by my name it gives me a slap to get back singing! Sometimes I also use the name inside of me. I just say it to myself. It brings me in touch with its meaning. It is a kind of meditation. There is also a deeper layer in the name when it is connected to a Master. For example the name of a disciple of Osho carries the link to him. The name then also reminds you of the Master. It reminds you of the moment you have surrendered to the Master. And this is very powerful. In many religions they use a change of name, even in the Catholic religion you change your name sometimes.
Maybe while you were attending the events, while you were reading this text or maybe tonight when you lie down in your bed, it will come… Suddenly you’ll feel touched by something that you can’t really explain.That is the transmission. Something has been transferred to you which can open some secrets inside of you. To me this is the depth of Tantra, the way I share it. We practice many meditations, we have a lot of fun with each other too, but the transfer of light to light is the depth to me. The transfer of the wisdom of my Master is the essence of my work. This is also the essence of the Kaula, of how we grow in it. This is also the way the family grows. Traditionally, the Kaula would stay hidden in one place for most of the time. It would be 100 persons at most. To bring the Kaula in the world makes it grow. If you are touched by the Master’s energy of the Kaula you want to taste more of it. Yet I see now it is all about disappearing as a person. In the play of the Kaula you can’t stand as you are, you can’t keep up your personality. The Master gives roles that cut your personality short. Today you are brother to someone who is not you brother at all. Tomorrow you are a lover with this brother! It puts your mind upside down in such a way that you cannot relate from the mind anymore. When I look at the way Tantra is generally exposed in the world, I see that it is being used to allow people to become somebody. The whole essence is missing. In Tantra there are no tantricas. In Tantra you have to drop the whole idea of being a tantrica. Even this, you have to drop it. As long as you can come up saying I am a tantrica, there is still something in the way between you and existence. It has to be drop! Be nobody! And in that nobodyness maybe we can be everything…
I bow down in love and gratitude to your inner light,