Here the full version of Leela’s sharing on the 17 march 2013 in Russia during the Ananda Retreat:
“When you come to the world there are no separated things such as body and light. You enter a form and stay in it for many years. You leave this form to move on into another one. And you might wonder where your previous form has gone. You might have the idea that it is dead. As far as you can see from the body, from the physical dimension, you see something dying. You see something suddenly changing colors, aspect, and you think it is finished. It is gone. It goes back to the earth. This what you see is a great illusion. This form that you see dying is simply returning to the light. I would so much like you to see, to feel, to understand that this form you carry is made of light. And there is something more you don’t see: It is you who made this form. From your own light you create a form. With your own light you shape a form to live in and to have the physical experience of this world. But you have forgotten about this. You even think it has been given to you by your parents and that too is an illusion. Because you are trapped in looking only at the form, you don’t see what is behind the screen of the form. You don’t see the creation of the form. Everything is created from light, your form and all forms. There is a visible as well as an invisible aspect to it. You are invisible. You are an invisible light: Very transparent, very playful. From this playfulness your creativity invents forms. The body you have now, you did invent it. You did invent it to enter the play of this world. You invented it to become visible for others so that you can share, you can meet, you can love. Once you need some rest you leave this form, you rest for a moment in transparency, invisibility. Then when you want to play again you create another form.
I would like you remember that you need to care for this form you created . It is your creation. You can’t spoil it. You can’t damage it. You need to care for it. You have to remember why you created it. Remember you created it to be visible. Once you are in this form you forgot that your real nature actually is transparency. You become attached to many different things: your form, other’s forms. And from this attachment you build up many ideas of what you are. You call this ego, you call this identity while actually you are transparent, empty. From your ego, from your identity you try to make yourself into something. By and by it is very disappointing. Little by little, you become very disappointed in your many experiences of the play of life. Then there is a moment of clarity where you have a vague remembrance that long time ago you were transparent. In this moment you decide to leave the form. And again you rest in transparency. What you call death is a deep moment of waking up, of remembrance. You rest and again create another form. Playing with light, creating a new form. And again you will forget. I like to call you to remembrance. Please remember who you are. Remember where you come from. This remembrance starts when you take care of your form knowing that it is your creation, respecting it is your own creation. Remember who you are. Remember where you come from…
There is a play with this form. A play of love. A very sacred play. When you unite two forms in lovemaking, you can have a moment of remembrance. Suddenly you can see, you can feel that you are transparent… a very delicate transparent light. When two bodies lose their boundaries, their weight, when they melt so much into each other, somewhere they loosen their form. It helps you to remember who you really are. It is a meeting in transparency, in emptiness. Then everything comes back home. Everything suddenly is in the right place. I know your lovemaking. I know how you misuse it simply because you are lost in the form. I would like you to remember that when you bring your form to another form, you bring two lights together. Bringing these two lights together brings you back to your true nature once the remembrance is there. Once you know ‘I am transparent’, you can create many forms. Come to it and you will always remember who you are and from where you come. You will not be blinded by the form you have created. You will be simply grateful for it. It will be a beautiful vehicle from which to share the space of transparency.
I would also like you to remember that you are responsible for what happens to the form you create. You are also responsible for forgetting that you have created the form…
I have also been in that state of fight and struggle where you are. I have also been attached to the form. I have also been deeply sad seeing the forms of people I loved die. But I know one thing: You cannot be completely lost. It is not to give you hope that I tell you this. It is simply a truth: You cannot be completely lost. Whatever attachment to the form, whatever pain you can go through – the pain of forgetting where you come from and where others come from, which is the same space as you- no matter how big the pain can be, you cannot be completely lost. I would like that at least you remember this: When you don’t know anymore, when you are in such despair, remember ‘I am not completely lost’.
How can light be lost? It is not possible. If there is one thing that cannot be lost, it is light. Even in the deepest darkness there is light. If you look closely at darkness, you will see it is made of light.
You cannot be completely lost, remember this. Wherever you are, everything is always made of light. How can you say you are lost? When you are in deep struggle, in deep sorrow, remember this too is made of light. You will be very surprised what can happen. If there is such deep pain that you think you will not get through and you realize it is made of light, imagine for a moment what might happen. I would like to give you this remembrance: You are never completely lost. You are always in the light, even in your deepest pain, because everything is made of light. You can’t escape from it. There is no escape. So please stop trying to escape light, stop trying to escape who you are. Light you are, light you will always be. The flame remains the flame…
I bow down with gratitude and love to your inner light.”
Leela, 17 March 2013, Russia